Last year was challenging for everybody and affected all of us in some way. Whether you have suffered financially, emotionally, physically, or mentally — we have all been forced to change and adapt in one way or another. The last two months of 2020 were some of the darkest, hardest, and trying times for me with my health. Going into fall, I felt like I was turning a corner and starting to feel vibrant again, with more and more good days each month. But, as winter crept in and took hold of our city, so did my chronic illness — reinvading my body with debilitating menstrual pain, body aches, vertigo, migraines, extreme bloating, and random skin conditions. I was beyond frustrated. I had made so many changes in my life and I couldn’t understand why this was happening again. Apparently, this dis-ease (because that’s what I call it) wasn’t done teaching me lessons, and I realized that I needed to become a better student.
The most rewarding thing about having a chronic illness is that it forces you to slow down, be present, and sit with yourself for extended periods. When you are in so much pain that you cannot move, cannot even read or watch TV, and are forced to lay in bed for hours at a time, you get to know yourself on a deep level. I’m sure many of you felt this way during quarantine and self-isolation. It was during these long hours in solitude that I realized that this entire year had been a marvelous, life-changing, and albeit surprising gift from the universe. Over the past year, I bought my first house, found the Viking/man/creature of my dreams, became a stepmother to the most precious soul, and fulfilled my life wish of having two dogs to shower with love. I even found my divine purpose and changed my career — from climbing the corporate ladder to working for a non-profit organization that aligned with my values and beliefs.
I realized that even though I had already come so far, peeled back so many layers, and let go of past limiting beliefs — I needed to dive even deeper. Through my meditations, I connected with my spirit guides, ancestors, and the universe to ask for clarity and guidance. The messages and teachings I received were loud and clear and have become my guiding lights for the next year.
2021 is all about HEALING — This doesn’t just mean healing my physical body and my illness but also healing myself and those around me - energetically. I keep receiving messages or pings that my divine purpose in this life is to be a healer and protector of the earth. I plan to focus my energy on healing myself, my family, friends, and my community. My healing energy will also extend to ancestral karma, past-life trauma, plants, animals, and the environment. You don’t need to be a famous activist, celebrity, or influencer to make a difference; you can have a profound impact by focusing on your community. You can become the Queen of your own village.
Going Back is NOT an Option — This past year has taken such a toll on my body and spirit. Not being able to work out and being bedridden for days at a time has affected me in so many ways. I lost a lot of muscle, became softer and rounder, and struggled with my body image. I NEED to move my body every day to release stagnant energy, feel energized, and set the tone for the rest of my day. Not being able to exercise has deeply affected my mental state and for a long time, I was obsessed with getting my body back to its former state. I would force myself to do strenuous workouts for a few days and then suffer the consequences of adrenal fatigue. I learned that going back was no longer an option and that I needed to move forward to find a new way to honour and move my body.
Now, I wake up and listen to what my body needs, sometimes it’s yoga, other times it’s dancing to my favourite songs, a long walk in nature (she needs this every day), or simply doing light stretches. Most importantly, I tell myself and my body that she is a divine goddess and that I love her unconditionally. I will do this every day until every cell in my body is filled to the brim with love and gratitude. This shift also translates to eating as cleanly and intuitively as possible and giving up alcohol and any other toxins to allow her to heal and thrive.
One Foot In; One Foot Out — This might sound strange, but I have a really tough time being a human. I have always felt different and odd and spend a lot of time living in my head — dreaming, philosophizing, meditating, and floating above my body. I love being alone and crave having time to connect and be with myself. It takes a lot of energy for me to come down to earth and do regular human things, like go grocery shopping, go to the dentist, have work meetings, and be around a lot of people. It’s not to say that I don’t enjoy some of these things; it’s just that it takes a lot of energy out of me. My language is energy. I am so sensitive to other people’s energy that it can become overwhelming and exhausting at times. I would be happy living in a cabin on top of a mountain for months at a time. But this is unrealistic, and I want to create energetic boundaries so that I can enjoy life with at least one foot always planted on the ground.
Reparenting my Inner Child — One of my holistic healers told me that I have a mighty, angry inner child and a lot of my illness stems from ignoring her cries for help. These words shook me to my core, and I’ve been working on reconnecting and repairing this relationship with myself. I have learned that my inner child is craving attention, unconditional love, play, creativity, and most importantly, wants to be heard and seen. Over the next year, I plan to indulge her whims and fantasies; fuel her imagination; and let her play, create, and discover new things. Once a week, I have dedicated time for a playdate with my inner child. This means trying something new, doing something creative and artistic, watching a favourite movie from my childhood, and allowing her to take the lead on what she wants to do. Lately, she’s been obsessed with learning and researching everything about aliens, light beings, star seeds, Pleiadeans, planets, and anything to do with the cosmos. She’s a weird little one, but I still love her!
Living in 5D Frequency — I have come across many spiritual teachers, healers, and light beings talking about how the world is shifting from a 3D to a 5D vibrational frequency. If this resonates with you, I encourage you to do some research and see if you are also experiencing this awakening. I believe that I have been ascending to a 5D level of consciousness and experiencing the symptoms related to this shift in vibration. My mantra for 2021 is to choose to live in 5D every day, which means shedding 3D low-frequency emotions — such as scarcity, lack, fear, separateness, polarity, jealousy, attachment, expectation, and vanity. In raising my vibration, I aspire to live in a state of 5D bliss — in trust, knowing, abundance, gratitude, magnetism, alignment, unconditional love, patience, and connectedness.
Happy New Year everyone! xo
